What does the word "identity" mean to you? 

I think about how identity, connotatively, varies greatly in different linguistic cultures from how we definite it. The dictionary defines identity, as individuality. When meeting someone new, after asking where they are from, we often resort to one of the automatic follow ups ‘so, what do you do?’ The response determines how 'successful’ you have been, how you stand out, and then in return, how that person will judge you and see if they care to know you better. 

I respond to this question based on the headspace I am in. Why not use the alternative definition of identity which is oneness, or wholeness. Some days I want to start again and wonder what if we asked questions that do not deal with labels and just ask questions that create authentic connection around identity.  

How do we feel in today’s world?  Are you loving those around you and requesting that love in return? What do you value that is intangible? Maybe on the lighter side, what do you do when you’re not stressed? What kind of dreams do you have at night? What do you find gratitude in?

How do you define yourself—your identity—personally?

I have been thinking about this a lot recently. I spoke about this at Making Midwest this summer, relating back to the idea of identifying ourselves, and creating a hierarchy which can inhibit or assist our self-worth. 

In spirit of that mindset, I identify as a human. My values include peace, exploration, justice, integrity, compassion, love and many more! 

When has defining your identity been a struggle? 

For someone like me, my identity is quite often politicized. Whether or not I choose that for myself, matters less when others choose your identity on your behalf. I do not give much time or energy in revoking what I may be labeled with, but putting my heart and passion where it matters.

There are some days that it is not easy to get up, in a country that you call your home, but in return will not allow you, or even your children, to ever feel that is in indeed home. I do not, however, enable that empty rhetoric or systemic imposition, to define my existence, or the existence of those around me. 

My purpose in the world is to continue building a more just, equitable society, for the communities and causes that I am privileged to serve. And really that is what matters.

When has defining your identity been easy? 

Since I am constantly pushing myself to learn and ripen, I am not really sure if I can pinpoint certain instances, maybe just spaces that are both inclusive and creative. I live by my mantra of ‘reality is perception,’ so really identity it is only as easy and difficult as you make it. 

Do you think of identity as dynamic or stable? Why?

I think of identity as dynamic. We should be like rivers, with tributaries, always flowing and moving, until we are gone from this world. 

Describe a meaningful, positive connection that has come from Magic Sessions.

​In the last magic session, ‘Identity,’ I realized that my group and I were so interconnected in our struggles, in both expression and discipline. During this process of both silent reflection and group dialogues, I had a lot of head nodding, "yessss, me too" moments. I was also recommended to take Gretchen Rubin’s tendency quiz since a group member mentioned, “your tendency is probably an obliger." They were spot on! Why was I not able to identify this in myself earlier? I still have the Identity circle diagram on my bulletin board for reflecting.  Yay! for deep dialogues and cultivating new habits.

On September 11th, Magic Sessions hosted its 6th quarterly event, Identity. We invited attendees to participate in a self-reflection activity, and then encouraged them to help each other to find out how to tackle various large life goals.

We are so grateful for being hosted at the lovely Haven Collective - one of the most warm and beautiful coworking spaces in Central Ohio.

Many thanks to Magic Sessions member Meg Pando for not only checking people in, but also connecting us with Sarah and Collin from Artisan Eats - who were kind enough to bring one of their incredible grazing platters for us to enjoy!

What does the word "identity" mean to you? 

To me, I believe that first and foremost “identity” is what we give to this world that leaves a positive impact. It’s every word of encouragement we give a hurting friend and every laugh we share with a stranger. Secondly, it’s living boldly because authenticity requires us to sometimes not be “cool.”

How do you define yourself—your identity—personally? 

I define myself as a daughter, wife, sister, friend, manager, and mentor. Those are the life roles in which I give the most. Another aspect of my identity is my spirituality and relationship with Jesus because that’s the reason I believe that identity involves so much of what we transfer to others and so little of what we do to build up our own profiles, portfolios, or outward appearance. 

When has defining your identity been a struggle? 

Losing sight of it or forgetting it? Every day. But when it’s really a problem, I begin to notice any of these 3 things happening:

1. I’m no longer doing the things I enjoy for the purpose of good intent, encouragement of others, or my own longevity and quality of life. For example, I’m going to a social event because I feel obligated to, or I’m going to the gym because I’m angry with myself for eating the whole pantry.
2. I’m agreeing with others (even though I secretly don’t) and giving the classic nod and smile to make them happy.
3. I’m giving, donating, or volunteering, but with resentment or annoyance.

When has defining your identity been easy? 

It’s easiest when I’m surrounded with people who make me feel more secure. It helps to get reassurance from people, and I’m not ashamed of that. It makes my identity a whole lot more comfortable and easy for SURE! However, as I mentioned previously, sometimes our identity is not what’s “cool.”


Do you think of identity as dynamic or stable? Why? 

One thing I’ve recently learned about myself is that I’m overly sensitive to others’ facial expressions, body language, and social cues causing me to overreact and jump to conclusions during conversation. Sometimes, this would even paralyze me from responding authentically. I’ve learned to stop, take a breath, and analyze what they just said. What once caused me so much anxiety and stress now has become this uncanny ability to understand the world around me. Now that I’ve grasped it, it’s a super power that allows me to slow down and be myself, for not only my own benefit but to others as well. Although this sounds easy now, I’ll constantly have to be aware of my instinct to overreact, and I’ll have to constantly be aware that this can hinder me from being myself. This is just one example of something I might be fighting for the rest of my life, but when I successfully do, I’m able to be me.

So, dynamic.


Describe a meaningful, positive connection that has come from Magic Sessions.

When Magic Sessions was at the studio, we all stood in a circle having just written down something we LIKED about ourselves. Many of us had trouble thinking of what we liked about ourselves, but we had NO problem writing down what he DISLIKED about ourselves.

This was powerful within itself because it’s something we all have never done before. We appreciated ourselves in a group setting.

Also, I wrote that I had a 6-pack (which I don’t - so sorry for lying). Nonetheless, I’m grateful Magic Sessions gave me and so many others this authentic, raw experience.

Describe your favorite “big idea” moment.
​
My favorite projects are elaborate pranks that contribute to the Army/Navy rivalry. Historically, students and alumni from my alma mater - West Point (the Army) - prank Annapolis (the Navy). With the help of technology, I've taken those pranks to a new level. One of my most favorite recent pranks was a book I wrote titled: "Discipline: The Annapolis Way - Lessons from the Nation's 4th Best Military Academy." - I 'gamed' the system so that the book is the number one search result for the Navy on Amazon - and it became the number 1 best selling military history book of 2017. Oh - and it's an entirely blank book. 

Describe an idea that you loved, but didn’t work out in practice.  

So many! But at least I knew that they didn't work by putting them out into the world and seeing if anyone else cared. I have at least 3 to 4 complete and total failure projects every year. It doesn't get any less discouraging. The one that haunts me - mostly because it's still such an annoying problem - Simple Socks. I was going to start a sock company that promised to only ever sell one style of socks so that your socks would always match. Turns out no one really cared as much about that problem as they claimed.

What is your process for capturing ideas?

I currently use Trello - there's plenty of systems out there - that's one that I've just found simple and convenient over the last year. I previously used Slack. No matter what the system - emails to yourself, notes someplace, etc... - I am constantly writing short notes in my 'personal inbox.' Part of my system was inspired by the book Getting Things Done by David Allen. Ideas have floated around in my system for years sometime before finally moving into action. Any time I have an intriguing thought about a potential project, I record it in my personal inbox (a terrifying collection of terrible ideas) and then I sort through them on an infrequent basis - monthly(ish) and decide if any of them are worth pursuing, keeping in the inbox, or completely discarding.

How do you decide which ideas to put into action?  

Great question - I'm increasingly selective with which items I take action on. My test: Does this project/effort make other people's lives more enjoyable? I find the most satisfaction from creating entertaining projects that make other people smile. Work and life in general is tough enough - so I try to put my creative energy toward projects that deliver a laugh.

What idea were you working on at the "Ideation" event, and how is it progressing? 

I'm working on a follow-up to a project I did a few years ago called 'Six Word War.' - I collected thousands of short six word stories from Iraq and Afghanistan veterans about their experiences. I'm interested in expanding the project to be more inclusive to all veterans, their families, and those affected by war. But it's a big undertaking so I'm realistic on how much I can accomplish alongside my other work. 

​Describe a meaningful, positive connection that has come from your first Magic Session.

I connected with Malu Marzarotto and I'm really excited about bringing a higher level of design and visualization to the stories that I'm collected for the Six Word War project.